Sam: Which half of this puzzle is harder, Kurt, the first half or the second half?
Kurt: If you ask me, I-
Sam: Or does it come in thirds? If so, the third part isn't that big.
Kurt: Actually, I was going to ask you-
Sam: And the first third being larger than the second. Much larger.
Kurt: It's really annoying the way you keep interrupting me.
Sam: Oh, sorry. Sometimes I'm so-
Kurt: Rude. I know. Just like my friend, Mr. Emu.
Sam: Who's that?
Kurt: Who, Mr. Emu?
Sam: Who else? Of course that's who I mean.
Mr. Emu: Hello, gentlemen! Would you like to buy some clues from Puzzles, Inc?
Sam: You must be Mr. Emu! How do you do?
Mr. Emu: Good, thanks. Oh, and you can call me Tom.
Sam: Tom, I don't need any clues. I know the answer. Besides, I bet your clues aren't cheap...
Kurt: He may know the answer, Tom, but he doesn't know the question. But if he won't buy them, I will.
Mr. Emu: So, he knows the answer, and you know the question... then I have some customers, don't I!
Kurt: Sure do. Why didn't you ever tell me you work for Puzzles, Inc?
Mr. Emu: What's it to ya?
Kurt: Well, never mind. How much does a clue cost?
Sam: Can't you just give him one for free?
Mr. Emu: Okay, Sam. I'll do that by making some changes in you. Just remember, you asked...
Sam: May I ask what manner of modifications you had in mind? I didn't dream you possessed such power!
Kurt: I get it! He's made your very words give clues to the puzzle!
Sam: Ludicrous! Listen, if you lured me into an unwilling lobotomy, I'll lay a lawsuit on Puzzles, Inc!
Kurt: Sam! You don't seem to understand what he's done to you!
Sam: Precisely. Presenting perplexing puzzles precipitates a ponderous plethora of peculiar pointers to ponder.
Mr. Emu: The puzzle being this one, and the pointers being hints...
Kurt: Uh-oh, guys. I was just reading over this narrative, and I made a mistake. When Mr. Emu first arrived, I forgot to say "Hi."
Mr. Emu: Do you know, Kurt, that you just jumped out of your proper POV?
Sam: An egregious action! And excuse me, Emu, but end your aping my everlasting alliteration! Simply cease!
Kurt: Now you're using assonance. You've gone over the top!
Sam: Besides, it's all subterfuge. You realize that, don't you?
Kurt: Criticizing a zealous fellow for a little pizzazz?
Kurt: Yes, pizzazz! Say, elucidate me on said "subterfuge", if you will.
Sam: Well, alliteration and assonance point one way, but a superior tip would primarily point in the opposite.
Mr. Emu: Enough, you fool!
Kurt: Right! You'll give it away!
Sam: My, my, getting all the blame, am I?
Kurt: Now you've gone to far! Rhyming is irrelevant! Such tricks will just slow them down!
Mr. Emu: Or stop them entirely, the way he's going.
Sam: Eureka! You aren't acquainted with the answer either, are you!?
Kurt: I will be soon!
Sam: Of course, considering all the clues you've connived!
Kurt: I still don't know the answer. The question is, could anyone?
Mr. Emu: No. Not until much later.
Sam: Not until the end, even.
Kurt: Is there a prize?
Mr. Emu: Yes. One drachma.
Kurt: I don't believe that.
Sam: Thee thinkst it's that much?
Mr. Emu: Besides, what's a drachma?
Kurt: Forget it. It's irrelevant, right, Sam?
Sam: Sam says its so, except in an extremely subtle sense, yes.
Mr. Emu: What for?
Kurt: For the thought I'm having. Give me a minute, Mr. Emu!
Mr. Emu: How long must we wait, pray tell?
Kurt: You sure are waiting impatiently.
Mr. Emu: It's my nature.
Kurt: Okay. It doesn't really matter what we say, does it, Sam? This is all a bunch of bull!
Sam: Maybe you should mention your marvelous mentation to Mr. Emu...
Kurt: For example, the puzzle is still solvable, even if I just shout, "Rutabagas!"
Mr. Emu: True. But the author would never have allowed you to say "Spaghetti!"
Kurt: There you go again, escaping your POV.
Sam: Forget that, friends. Let's furnish a final hint before we depart from this daunting dialogue.
Kurt: I second that notion.
Mr. Emu: Okay. Do they need good grammar? You know, never missing a comma?
Sam: Gifts with grammar are gratuitous. It can be entirely improper.
Kurt: Okay, we can forget about grammar.
Mr. Emu: And if their spelling isn't exactly pro forma?
Sam: I'd say so what.
Mr. Emu: Yoo meen that? Truli?
Kurt: Yoo herd whut hee sed. Wee muste beleev.
Sam: Kurt, this is too maniacal for me. I think it's time to terminate.
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